RMS TITANIC

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RMS TITANIC

Postby Walt » Sun Apr 15, 2012 1:09 am

Q: What's the difference between Bree Olson and the Titanic?
A: Only 1500 people went down on the Titanic.

My granddad used to keep telling me his greatest achievement in life was surviving the sinking of the Titanic.

I'd ask him how he managed such an amazing thing. He'd always reply with, "Simple, I wasn't fucking on it."


I recently saw a condom machine in a toilet, which had a "Tested to British Safety Standards" sign on it.

Underneath someone had scrawled: "So was the Titanic."

What does Avatar and Titanic have in common?

Half the cast are blue.
Last edited by Walt on Sun Apr 15, 2012 1:41 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby Walt » Sun Apr 15, 2012 1:18 am

I was going to watch Titanic.
But then I realized I was straight.

Two Irishmen stranded on an iceberg.
One says to the other, "Look, we're saved, there comes the Titanic"


Q:Why was there only one bath tub in the Third Class on Titanic?
A: White Star expected them a wash up on shore.

A friend asked how my sex life is going. I replied, "It's like the sinking of the Titanic."

"You mean disastrous?" he asked.

"No," I replied, "Women and children first."


The Titanic was launched 100 years ago today. Nobody could imagine the horror that awaited - Celine Dion's 'My Heart Will Go On'
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Postby Walt » Sun Apr 15, 2012 1:40 am

Q: Why did he call his son "Titanic"?
A: They were both a terrible waste of semen.

What's the difference between the Titanic and Osama Bin Laden ?

The Titanic really is at the bottom of the sea.


I was going to crack a joke about Costa Concordia making a huge turnover but thought, no, it would be a titanic mistake...

Q:Why did the Titanic hit an iceberg?
A: The Captain was texting.

Titanic: A girl who goes down first time out.

I knew my girlfriend and I were made for each other when we both admitted to getting through a whole box of tissues watching Titanic.

Q:Why did the Titanic sink?
A: She was full of British citizens and built in Ireland.


While the Protestants were building the Titanic, the Catholics were building the iceberg.
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Postby Walt » Sun Apr 15, 2012 5:59 am

What do you get if you cross the Atlantic with the Titanic?

About halfway...

Went to see Titanic 3D yesterday and it was so 3D I could actually feel James Cameron taking the money out of my pocket.

It's all about perspective. The sinking of the Titanic was a miracle to the lobsters in the ship's kitchen.
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Postby Walt » Thu Apr 25, 2013 11:54 am

Q: Why didn't Rose help Jack out of the water?
A: It was a First Class door.
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