The Canadian Threat

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The Canadian Threat

Postby Walt » Mon May 14, 2012 6:29 am

This American goes on a skiing holiday to Canada.

After a hard day on the slopes he retires to a bar at the bottom of the mountain.

After about five or six whiskeys, he looks up and notices a stuffed animal with antlers on the wall.

He asks the barman, "What the fuck is that?"

The barman says, "It's a Moose."

The Yank says, "Fuck me! How big are the cats?"
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Postby Walt » Mon May 14, 2012 7:00 am

What does a Canadian say after hearing that his buddy won the Canadian Lottery?

"Bring me back a carton of Marlboros".

What's the difference between Canada, Mexico and America?

America has nice neighbors.


I was coming back from Canada, driving through Customs, and the guy asked, "Do you have any firearms with you?"
I said, "What do you need?"

My neighbors are loud and obnoxious.
Now I know how Canada feels.



The Canadians have unleashed a weapon of mass destruction on America.
It's called Celine Dion.

How do Canadians spell CANADA?
C-A-N-A-D-A-A


How can you spot the bride at a Canadian wedding?
She's wearing the American Hockey shirt.
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Postby Walt » Mon May 14, 2012 7:04 am

A first grade teacher explains to her class that she is an American. She asks her students to raise their hands if they were American too. Not really knowing why but wanting to be like their teacher, their hands explode into the air like flashy fireworks.
There is, however, one exception. A girl named Kristen has not gone along with the crowd. The teacher asks her why she has decided to be different.
"Because I am not an American."
"Then", asks the teacher, "What are you?"
"I'm a proud Canadian," boasts the little girl.
The teacher is a little perturbed now, her face slightly red. She asks Kristen why she is a Canadian.
"Well, my mom and dad are Canadians, so I'm a Canadian too."
The teacher is now angry. "That's no reason," she says loudly. "What if your mom was a moron, and your dad was a moron. What would you be then?"
A pause, and a smile. "Then," says Kristen, "I'd be an American
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Postby Walt » Mon May 14, 2012 7:08 am

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Postby Walt » Mon May 14, 2012 7:10 am

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Postby Walt » Mon May 14, 2012 7:12 am

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Postby Walt » Mon May 14, 2012 7:16 am

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Postby Walt » Mon May 14, 2012 8:08 am

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