Have you seen Skippy's List
on the internet? I here by start Chippie's List
. Feel free to add to the list but don't make shit up. You won't have to. List is restricted to Hahn AB.
1. When applying face paint you cannot imitate KISS.
2. Do not address the commander as "Mom".
3. Do not use the phrase "This is all BULLSHIT!" during an Article 15 hearing.
4. Do not park your car in the ditch in front of the Security Police desk.
5. Opening a bar while the C-130 is in flight is forbidden.
6. You cannot run a bar out of your dorm room and undercut the prices at the NCO club.
7. M-80's will not be lit and then flushed.
8. Do not refer to the German cleaning ladies as KGB officers.
9. When launching the airplane, Nazi salutes are not authorized.
10. When doing a maintenance run, it is not authorized to "run her up" to blow the softball back into play and there by ruin a perfectly good home run.
11. Nothing will not ever been stolen from any mini golf course.
12. The Sears credit card is not accepted at any Spanish whore house.
13. Bunks belong in the dorm room, not on the roof.
14. An officer's personal belongings are not to be transferred to the roof, even if his roommate helps.
15. The expediter truck will not be used on a beer run.
16. Swords will not be brandished while boarding the aircraft.
17. No one will be forced to wear the gas mask for 12 hours in their own personal "Black".
18. You cannot tell the maintenance officer you fixed the jet with your "magic wrench".
19. Vacuum cleaners will not be flown from dorm windows.
20. You cannot claim to be a shot down P-51 pilot when the Polizei pull you drunk from the river.
21. Getting drunk at wine fests will not be used as a bulletin statement for an Achievement Medal.
22. Flipping the pilot off during a launch is not authorized, even if he flips you off first.
24. Back flips, dancing, sexual simulations or anything the Navy does are not authorized hand signals during a aircraft launch.
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25. You will not pull anyone off of weekend duty to go play paintball.
26. Men cannot ask to go home early because their periods just started.
27. Earrings or jewelry will not be worn in formation, especially if your giving the briefing.
28. You will not simulate anal sex when the commander pops into the club to check up on the troops.
29. No fair getting an F-15 pilot drunk and leave him passed out of the pool table.
30. German nationals will not be used as "cover" while playing paintball.
31. Only MRE's can be eaten during LSN's. When asked "Where did you get that fruit cup?", you cannot say that you looted the B.X.
32. Calling a Puppy Pile on members of sister Wings is frowned upon.
33. You will not reset your roommate's alarm clock so that they report to swing shift instead of day shift.
34. Spiking anyone's drink with ex-lax is just not funny.
35. Sneaking into someone's room in the middle of the night, dressed as a Ninja is NOT funny.
36. Kamikaze head bands will not be worn at work.
37. There will be no Jammer Races.
38. Do not take newbies to Spanish Gay bars saying it's just a regular Spanish bar and leave them there alone.
39. You cannot take members of other squadrons hostage and ransom them for beer,
40. You cannot stop a taxing aircraft just to spray paint a Puppy Patch on the wing tank.
41. You cannot announce that the 10th AMU uses comic books for tech data.
42. Do not smash the expediter board to tiny bits.
43. Do not replace pictures on the Crew Chief board with sexually suggestive photos.
44. Do not yell "Bombs Away" when throwing salt bags out of the expediter truck.
45. Do not yell "SCORE!" if said bag hits anyone or anything.
46. Taxi ways are not to be confused with the Autobahn.
47. Never steal a saxophone from an undercover Polizei.
48. Do not involve the Secretary of State during your unauthorized vacation to Sweden by declaring Diplomatic Immunity.
49. Ice Slides will not be set up in the hallways of dorms.
50. Hallway Soccer is forbidden.
51. You cannot equip your crew chief shack with a cooler, TV or microwave.
52. You cannot piss in the ditch next to your shelter and then direct the Ammo troops to take cover there during a Red.
53. Do not dare the Maintenance Officer to beat the Rasputin Special Drinking Record.
54. Never drain a center line fuel tank by popping the drains and then tow it around until it's empty.
55. It is a bad idea to check out the Coleman and use it to jump start your car at the B.X.
56. When told to paint a revetment do not paint a giant naked lady.
57. Corn cobs will not be attached to aircraft.
58. If the pilot asks you if you fixed the jet t DO NOT answer "Probably".
59. "Smoke checking" aircraft circuits is not an authorized trouble shooting technique.
60. When playing handball in a shelter, points are not scored when you hit the aircraft.
61. Make damn sure the jet is all the way before closing the blast doors.
62. Make damn sure you know where the Maintenance Officer's truck is parked BEFORE opening the blast doors.
63 Do not pick up the Officer's rental car and carry it anywhere.
64. There will be no "Body Surfing" on the flight line.
65. Jet engines will not be hung from the ceiling by cargo straps.